we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
We were destined to go to rehab together
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
