You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
