we're blogging at a bar
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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