and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
