i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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