i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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