You can't motorboat a personality
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
