There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Dick very happy bro
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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