The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
We don't watch enough power rangers
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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