Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
