Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
