On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize