Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
