5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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