he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
