I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
