Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
