Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
He felt like a one man threesome
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
