brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
