she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
