I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Randomize
