Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
