i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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