Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
smell my finger.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
