I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
