But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
