Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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