If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize
