He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
