so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
