i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Randomize
