The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
