dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
two words...techno handjob
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Randomize
