It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Randomize
