I'm pants shitting drunk right now
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
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