No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I did not marry a roomba.
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