If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
17 year olds will be the death of me.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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