Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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