It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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