I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
