Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
