that's an acceptable place to lick
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
