I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Randomize
