I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
