Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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