I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
