After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize