Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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