I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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