Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
