Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
