You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
