yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Randomize
