Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize