I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
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