fuck your aforementioned shoe
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
