it wasn't lemon gatorade
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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