she was so not down for the gang bang
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
