Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I need to calm my uterus...
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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