It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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