I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
